Free Self-Defense: Are They Helpful or Harmful?
We see free self-defense classes being promoted almost daily by schools, instructors and even organizations. The intentions are honest and they come from a generous source, but are free self-defense classes for women doing more harm than good?
Why Free Self-Defense Classes are Thought to Help Women Train
One of the biggest motivations behind offering free self-defense classes is the assumption that money is the most significant obstacle to training. A typical one-time self-defense event costs $10-$40 per hour. At that price range, money is unlikely to be the main deciding factor for most potential attendees, especially when you consider that the average haircut for women costs $45, the average mani/pedi runs about $40, and dinner with a drink or two will cost at least $30.
Yes, money is a legitimate excuse for some women, but for the vast majority of ladies out there, "luxury" goods and services are being purchased in the same price range regularly. And those luxury goods do not offer potentially life-saving benefits.
The reality however, is that there is one main reason why women choose not to take a self-defense class; but it's not money, it's fear. That fear often comes packaged in a multitude of wrappers such as: not having enough time to take the class, not having any way of getting to the class, and yes, even that it's too expensive. But fear is at the heart of all of these. And for the record, that fear is legitimate, justifiable, and very, very normal.
To take a self-defense class means acknowledging that it can, in fact, happen to you. And for many women it has, in fact, happened to them. Both realities carry a huge amount of fear.
What if I find out that I'm not strong enough to defend myself or my children effectively? What if I get triggered in the class? What if I become emotional? What if my spouse, friends and family think I'm being ridiculous? What if I get hurt during training? What if I'm put in a situation in which I feel powerless? What if I can't make it through the whole class? What if I'm not tough enough? What if I get yelled at by the instructors? What if the training makes me more afraid? What if I fail?
De-stigmatizing these fears, getting them out in the open, validating women for having them, giving them permission to feel these fears, and addressing them head-on are the ways in which we can best overcome barriers to training.
Why Free Self-Defense Classes Do More Harm Than Good
1. They propagate the idea that fear is shameful.
Most, if not all, offerings of free classes come from a misguided desire to encourage women to participate. But by attempting to address an obstacle that is rarely present (money), and failing to address the obstacles that do exist (fear), these offerings allow the presence of fear surrounding self-defense training to remain largely in the dark and buried deeply in women's psyches as "silly," "stupid," and shameful.
2. They ask women to devalue their safety.
Very few worthwhile services in the world are free. So not only does the invitation to attend a free training event imply that the training may be less than (even if it really isn't), but it suggests that the value of confidence, personal safety, peace of mind, boundary-setting skills, and self-defense knowledge for women is essentially zero. Should these benefits be offered to women at an affordable cost? Of course! We're not suggesting that classes should be an extravagant expense by any means, but we are suggesting that free self-defense classes reinforce the idea that those skills are not recognized as valuable by women. And it's time for that to change!
3. They are unequal.
Have you ever seen a free self-defense class for men being offered? We haven't either. The idea that men should value their safety enough to pay for classes, but women don't have to, doesn't sit well with us. If the reasoning behind offering free classes for women only is that very few women train, as compared with men, then we'd like to suggest that perhaps it's time to take a look at how self-defense is taught to women. Instead of just trying to entice them with freebies, we think it's long overdue that self-defense teaching modalities and training environments become more inclusive. For more information on how best to do that, please visit Empower Women to Train.
We want to make it very clear that we do not think instructors or schools that offer free self-defense classes for women have anything other than just intentions. Yet despite the fact that they've been proven time and time again to fail at increasing attendance, many professionals still offer them and many groups of women still request them. It may be tempting to dismiss these incidences as just marketing ploys, or as empty attempts to receive free handouts, but in a world where women are targeted for violence at much higher rates than men, but train in self-defense at much lower rates, we think it's important to dig down to the true heart of the issue.
We have a feeling this article will stir up some fairly strong feelings from both sides of the argument. We would love to hear your respectful feedback so that this conversation can continue. Please comment below to let us know where you stand.
Be safe and be well...